Bad Boys
by Freelancer
Summary: Rogue and Kitty tease each other about their feelings toward two certain Acoyltes. Romy & Kiotr


**Disclaimer**: I'm not affiliated with Marvel, Warner Brothers, Rolling Stone, Labyrinth, or anything else in any way, shape, or form. PG-13 rating for language and sexual innuendo.

**A/N**: Ah dun't write accents. Ah find 'em deestractin'. Use yer eemagination. :o)

* * *

"Oh, I completely agree," Rogue said into the phone, and turned a page in her magazine. This was her idea of a perfect Saturday night: alone in her room, stretched out on her bed, reading _Rolling Stone_, and talking on the phone with someone who shared her less than high opinion of a certain popular redhead. "I swear, if I see one more newspaper article about Jean 'yes-that's-my-natural-color' Grey making the all-state team for the third year in a row, I'm gonna _puke_..."

Suddenly, the door opened, and a very angry Kitty Pryde entered the room and slammed the door behind her. She stomped over to her bed, flung herself onto it, then buried her face in her pillow.

Rogue watched Kitty for a moment, then figured she should probably play the part of the sympathetic ear. "I'll call you back, Monique," she said, and hung up. "Hey, Kitty, what's going on?"

"Guh mmh mimmhnms," Kitty said into the pillow.

"Uh... didn't quite catch that one, Sugah," said Rogue.

Kitty sat up and looked at Rogue. The area around her eyes was red and puffy, and there were wet stains on her cheeks. "Guys are idiots," she repeated.

Rogue sighed. She should have suspected as much. It _was_ Kitty, after all. "Andrew stood you up, didn't he?"

"Worse!" Kitty wailed. "I was all ready to go, and here was here right on time, and I was like, 'Okay, so are you ready?' and he's like, 'Sorry, I just came by to tell you that Crystal called at the last minute and I like, really want to hang out with her before she leaves.' What's wrong with ME? What does Crystal have that I don't?"

"Um.... she's a natural blonde?" Rogue guessed.

Kitty burst into a fresh round of sobs, and it occurred to Rogue that she probably could have said something a little less superficial.

"But I'm sure he didn't mean for you to take it personally," she continued. "After all, everyone knows he's had a crush on Crystal _forever_..."

Kitty began to wail.

_Wrong again_, Rogue thought. "Anyway, he's an ass."

Kitty fell silent.

_Bingo_. "All men are asses," Rogue said. "It's imprinted on their genetic code. After all, even non-mutant guys still have the Y chromosome, and everyone knows that's where all the problems start. Some of them are just less of an ass than others."

Kitty sniffed and wiped at her face. "Like Scott?" she said with just a hint of teasing in her voice.

Rogue snorted. "Don't start," she said. "I am _so_ over One-Eye. If he can't see past that Jessica Rabbit wannabe, that's his problem."

"Oh yeah," Kitty said slyly, and Rogue suddenly realized that her attempt at cheering up her roommate worked a little _too_ well. "I forgot that you were sweet on Magneto's little henchman."

"Remy - er, Gambit?" Rogue said, correcting herself too late. She gave a nervous laugh. "Come on. The guy's a... have you seen his _eyes_?" Remy's red-and-black eyes were the only obvious physical indications that he was a mutant.

"You said you thought Gambit's eyes were sexy," Kitty argued.

_Smooth move, Ex-Lax_. "Did I say that?" was Rogue's innocent reply. "I meant... uh..." She searched her brain for an adjective that sounded similar to "sexy." No results came up.

"You meant _sexy_," Kitty said.

She was clearly enjoying this. Rogue felt she could endure a little teasing for Kitty's sake. If she kept it up, though, that girl was going to wake up with one hell of a headache.

"All right, fine, I _did_ mean sexy," said Rogue, "and if I ever figure out some way to get around this no-touching thing, the first thing I'm gonna do is pull Remy LeBeau into a closet. Satisfied?"

"But you just said that all men are asses," the confused Kitty said. Rogue could be so contradictory.

Rogue smiled coyly. "I did," she replied, "but have you _seen_ his?"

Kitty let out a delighted shriek, picked up her pillow, and covered her face with it. When she pulled the pillow away, there were tears on her face again, but these were of the happy sort. "Oh my _God_, Rogue, I never knew you could be so, like... _scandalous_."

Her friend shrugged. "Well, when you're in a situation like mine, pretty much everything is left up to the imagination." Of course she entertained thoughts about Remy LeBeau. Of course she remembered what moments they spent together. And of course he was an ass, just like every other male that walked the Earth. But at the same time, there was something about Gambit that made him less of an ass in her mind.

_Well, that was fun_, Rogue thought, feeling that was quite enough with the teasing. Now it was Kitty's turn. "Maybe you should just forget about the 'normal' guys for the time being and start looking at mutants again," she suggested. "That way, you don't always have to pretend to be something you're not, you know?"

"Ha!" Kitty said. "You mean like Lance? _Forget_ it. We are like, _so_ over."

"I didn't say Lance, did I?" Rogue asked. Then she smiled.

Kitty knew that look well: Rogue was going somewhere with this. "All right, all right, out with it," she said. "Who are you thinking of?"

Rogue let out an exaggerated gasp and pressed her hand to her cheek. "Katherine Pryde, did you just end a sentence with a preposition? What were you thinking?"

Kitty looked puzzled. "What the hell's a preposition?"

"Something you can't end a sentence with," Rogue replied.

"Ha!" Kitty exclaimed. She knew full well what a preposition was, and Rogue had fallen right into her own trap. "'With' is a preposition! You ended a sentence with a preposition too!" She jumped up so she was standing on her bed and pointed her finger at her roommate. "You thought that I wouldn't know what a preposition was so you could get the better of me, but it looks like _I_ outsmarted _you_! Score for Kitty!"

She turned a circle with her arms over her head, then flopped back down onto the bed, beaming.

Rogue stared at her for a moment, then snickered. "Wow, Kitty, I never heard of someone getting so excited over _grammar_."

Kitty shrugged. "Whatever. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah! You were like, totally leading up to who you think I should go out with."

"Prepo_sition_ again, Kitty," Rogue said sweetly.

"Shut _up_, Rogue," Kitty replied equally sweetly. "Whoooo_ooooo_?"

"Let's just say that I'm not the only one who's got a thing for one of Magneto's little henchmen," Rogue said. "Only yours isn't little." Then she winked.

Kitty spent a few seconds processing Rogue's statement, then gasped. "_Colossus_?"

Rogue picked up the _Rolling Stone_ and flicked it open to the page she'd been reading while on the phone with Monique.

"You are _so_ kidding," Kitty said.

Rogue looked over and said, "I am so _not_ kidding. You two were totally checking each other out!"

"But he's... he's a _bad guy_!"

"So was Lance," said Rogue. "And so's Remy. And so was I, if you remember. Good and bad aren't always what they appear to be, y'know."

Kitty thought for a moment, then said, "You know, now that you mention it... he _is_ kind of cute."

"'Kind of cute'?" Rogue repeated, closing the _Rolling Stone_ again. "That's all you can say, is 'kind of cute'? Come _on_, Kitty. That boy's body is hard _enough_ without that metal coating, and he's probably hung like a _bull_-"

Kitty shrieked so loud that Rogue had to cover her ears.

"Sheesh!" Rogue said, letting her hands fall. "Whadja do _that_ for?"

Kitty was red-faced and gasping for air. Tears were leaking out of the corners of her eyes, and she was shaking from the kind of laughter one gets when one finds something so funny they forget how to breathe. "You... you said... h-he's-"

"Probably hung like a bull, yes," Rogue replied smoothly. "Kitty, the guy's like, six foot six! _Proportions_!"

Kitty shrieked again and buried her face in her pillow.

Their door opened, and Jean Grey stuck her face inside. "Is everything okay?" she asked. "I heard screaming."

"Oh, everything's fine," Rogue said. "Kitty's just thinking about Piotr Rasputin's package."

Another scream from Kitty. At least this one was muffled by the pillow.

"Ah," said Jean. "Well, we're about to start _Labyrinth_ downstairs; you're welcome to come think about David Bowie'spackage with us." Then she winked and disappeared back out into the hall.

Rogue found herself staring at the empty doorway. _She knows who David Bowie is? _the president of the Anti-Jean club wondered. Maybe Jean wasn't such a prude after all.

Kitty pulled her face out of the pillow. She was still bright red and having trouble breathing.

Getting over the shock of Jean's display of coolness, Rogue turned back to Kitty and said, "So whaddya think? They're not bad people; they just kinda got stuck with the wrong crowd. Once Magneto's out of the way, I'm sure they'll go straight." Then she paused. "Well, I'm sure _Piotr_ will go straight, at least."

"I c-can't believe you s-s-said…" Kitty gasped.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Get a grip, girl."

Kitty sat up straight, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Okay," she said, opening her eyes. "I'm cool."

_We'll see_, thought Rogue. "So, about Piotr…"

Kitty shrieked and covered her face.

_Predictable_, Rogue thought as she winced. Kitty's shrieks carried remarkably well. Too bad they couldn't bottle that sound and sell it at joke shops.

Kitty parted her fingers, allowing her eyes to show, and said, "Do you really think I'd have a chance with Piotr?"

"Absolutely. Wanna watch _Labyrinth_?"

Kitty let her hands drop and got off her bed. "Totally!" she said. "Are you like, cool with Jean now or something?"

Rogue shrugged and got off her bed, too. "Yeah, sure. You might want to watch out, though."

"Why?" Kitty asked as they moved toward the door.

"Because _Scott's _not the one with the impressive set."

Rogue was expecting a shriek. What she got was a sideways glance from Kitty and a, "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Rogue winked. "Oh, yeah."


End file.
